7 Lies About Self-Care for Parents You Need to Stop Believing Right Now -

Because sometimes, the most life-changing thing you can do for your family is to take five minutes to breathe, regroup, and remember that you’re a person too.

Self-care: The holy grail of parenting advice, plastered across Instagram in perfectly-filtered photos of candles, bubble baths, and people who definitely don’t have kids hanging off their legs.

But here’s the truth: a lot of what you hear about self-care for parents is total BS.

It’s more about selling you things you don’t need – or making you feel envious of what others have – than actually helping you survive and thrive in the daily chaos of parenting.

So, let’s set the record straight.

Here are 7 lies about self-care every parent needs to stop believing — and what you really need to do to preserve your sanity (and maybe even have a little fun while doing it).

Lie #1: You Need Hours of “Me Time” to Feel Human Again

The Truth: Oh, sure, if you can somehow miraculously find hours of uninterrupted “me time” in between playdates, school projects, and wrestling matches over broccoli, then by all means, take it.

After all, a three-hour bubble bath sounds A-M-A-Z-I-N-G. But what busy, overstressed parent actually has time for that?

But that’s just not within the realm of possibility for most of us.

The good news is that research confirms that tiny, micro-moments of self-care (like five minutes of deep breathing or a 10-minute walk around the block to escape your crying toddler) are far more effective than trying to squeeze in a three-hour spa day that will never, ever happen.

The key? Consistency over quantity. You’re better off taking three five-minute breaks throughout the day than trying to carve out a marathon of self-care once a week.

For a quick win: Try noise-cancelling headphones to block out the chaos so you can eat a cookie in peace (even if you do it while hiding from the kids in a closet for 5 minutes).

✅ Check out this top-rated model I swear by. (Don’t believe me? It has more than 60,000 5-star reviews).

Lie #2: Self-Care is All About Pampering Yourself

The Truth: Ah, pampering. The thing that usually involves a lot of expensive lotions and potions that you’ll never get around to using because, let’s face it, you have 10 minutes before the kids start fighting over a toy… Again…

Real self-care often looks a lot less glamorous:

Getting enough sleep (hallelujah)
Setting boundaries (no, you can’t come into my room at 6:30 a.m.)
Saying no to that third Zoom call of the day

The good news is that science shows practical self-care activities (like getting to bed early or organizing your schedule) have more long-term stress-reducing effects than indulgent activities like retail therapy.

It’s the stuff that doesn’t involve candles, but it works a hell of a lot better.

For a quick win: A weighted blanket can transform 5 minutes on the couch into a mini oasis of calm in your chaotic life.

✅ This one was a game changer for me. (It’s a #1 best seller for a reason)

Lie #3: Self-Care is Expensive

The Truth: Wellness brands are great at convincing you that your self-care is worthless unless it comes with a $100 price tag. But guess what? Some of the best self-care is free.

I’m talking about texting a friend to vent (because connection helps), writing your thoughts down in a “brain dump” (because you have thoughts, I’m sure), or taking a 20-minute rest (because you deserve it).

The good news is science proves don’t need a $50 jade roller or a fancy yoga retreat to feel human again. In fact, some of the most effective self-care is hiding in plain sight.

For a quick win: Step outside for fresh air, stretch your neck and shoulders for instant relief, or blast your favorite song and dance like no one’s watching.

✅ Another option: this stress relief aromatherapy roller is clutch. (It’s so helpful – and probably the best $10 I’ve ever spent).

Lie #4: Self-Care Means You’re Being Selfish By Putting Yourself First

The Truth: Self-care isn’t selfish. It’s survival. Being a good mom does not mean pretending you’re a human doormat.

You can’t be a functioning human being if you’re always running on empty. It’s like airplane oxygen masks: you can’t help anyone (not even your kids) if you’re fainting from exhaustion.

The good news is that research shows that parents who take regular time for themselves are less likely to snap over spilled milk. (And we all know the milk is going to spill anyway. So, we might as well be prepared to deal with it).

For a quick win: Headspace is the best meditation app on the market. It is designed to help you clear your mind, reduce stress, and improve your mental well-being in just a few minutes a day. With guided sessions ranging from sleep aids to mindfulness practices, it’s the perfect tool for busy parents who need a quick mental reset amidst the chaos of everyday life.

✅ Download Headspace today. (And I know it’s the best because I’ve tried them all).

Lie #5: Self-Care Has to Be Instagram Perfect

The Truth: Instagram is overrated and self-care doesn’t have to look pretty to work.

Sometimes the most effective self-care looks messy. Like screaming in your car because your toddler just threw a tantrum over a green crayon. Or locking yourself in the bathroom for five minutes just to scroll through memes in peace. Or standing in the pantry pretending to look for something while actually just taking deep breaths and counting to ten.

The truth is, self-care is often not glamorous, and it definitely doesn’t need a filter.

The goal isn’t to look good for others. The goal is to prioritize your own needs for a few minutes whenever you can. That’s what self-care for overwhelmed parents should be about.

For a quick win: Throw on your comfiest pajamas, grab some tea, and pull your hair into a ponytail. Then… take 5 minutes to do something that makes you smile (or helps you breathe).

✅ Need a new PJ set? These are sooooo comfortable! (Bonus: they’re super cute, too).

Lie #6: Self-Care Is a One-Time Fix

The Truth: Unfortunately, self-care isn’t a magic pill you can take once and be instantly cured of all your parenting woes. It’s actually more like brushing your teeth: a little bit of maintenance every day keeps the stress monsters at bay.

The best self-care practices are the ones you can do consistently, even if it’s just 5 minutes in the bathroom hiding from your children.

The good news is that research confirms small acts of self-care (like stretching, breathing, or stepping outside for 5 minutes) have more long-lasting effects than one big, “transformative” act of indulgence.

For a quick win: Commit to building 5 minutes of stretching into your morning and evening routines. It’s easy, it feels great, and it benefits both body and mind

✅ And treat yourself to a new yoga mat while you’re at it. (Because between you and me, the one in the back of your closet is probably due for an upgrade).

Lie #7: Self-Care Is Just for Moms

The Truth: Guess what? Dads, grandparents, caregivers — they all need self-care too.

It’s not just a “mom thing,” although you might get more time for self-care if you get yourself some stealthy parenting moves (i.e., “Honey, I’m going to the store. Alone.”).

Self-care for the whole family sets a healthy example for kids — and shows them that everyone, no matter their gender, deserves time for themselves.

For a quick win: Let the whole family practice self-care and better health by improving muscle health, mental relaxation, and overall calm with a massage gun everyone can use.

✅ You can’t beat this massage gun (Or its 40,000+ 5-star reviews).

The Bottom Line

The bottom line is this: self-care for parents isn’t about checking a box, snapping a perfect selfie, or spending money you don’t have.

It’s about finding simple, realistic ways to take care of yourself, even in the middle of the chaos.

So go ahead — laugh at the lies you’ve been told, take 10 minutes to yourself, and remember that you don’t need to be perfect to be a good parent. Self-care isn’t a parenting indulgence to be earned or justified. It is medicine that is necessary for a healthy and happy life.

So, which self-care lie are you ready to stop believing? And what tiny but powerful thing can you do for yourself today?.

7 Lies About Self-Care for Parents You Need to Stop Believing Right Now

Related Posts To Keep You Sane(ish)