Why ‘Enjoy Every Moment’ Is the Worst Parenting Advice -

Because parenting is hard enough. And that extra dose of guilt is just not necessary, helpful, or productive.

If you’ve ever wanted to lose it after the 170,000th time you were given the parenting advice to “enjoy every moment”, you’re not alone.

And though it is generally well meaning, this advice is a giant heap of toxic positivity wrapped up in a pretty bow. And the truth? It’s not only unrealistic — it is also exhausting. And it makes stressed out and overwhelmed parents everywhere feel even worse.

Here’s why “enjoy every moment” is terrible parenting advice and what to do instead if you want to actually survive the chaos without losing your mind.

How to Find Meaningful Moments in Parenting Without the Guilt

Some moments of parenting are pure magic — like when your kid finally says “I love you” without being prompted.

But a lot of moments? They’re not enjoyable. Like fishing a LEGO out of the toilet or being woken up at 3 a.m. by an ear piercing shriek because a stuffed lovey fell out of the crib.

Try this instead: Rather than forcing yourself to enjoy every second — or feeling guilty if you don’t — aim to notice small, meaningful moments throughout the day.

Maybe it’s the first sip of (still warm!) coffee or a quiet minute after bedtime when you can finally hear yourself think. Not every moment has to be magical to matter.

Practice Realistic Gratitude, Don’t Aim For Perpetual Happiness

Yes, you’re grateful for your kids. And you love them unconditionally. You’re already a good parent.

But good parents can be grateful and still be super annoyed that their kiddo just dumped an entire box of cereal on the floor.

The best parenting advice recognizes that gratitude and frustration can coexist. Love and exhaustion are not mutually exclusive. And even though you’ll miss parts of this phase as your kids grow, you don’t have to love every part of it now.

Try this instead: Before going to bed each night, write down one thing from the day that brought you joy.

It can be anything – no matter how small. My kid came home from school with a smile. The dog did something silly. I got to take a shower. My kids didn’t see me sneak that chocolate bar I stashed in the cupboard.

Research shows that focusing on small wins reduces stress more effectively than pretending every moment is blissful.

I know my own mental health was significantly improved when I started jotting down one moment at the end of each day in a little notebook beside my bed.

No long-form or soul-baring journaling needed. Just the date and a few words to remind of something from the day that made me smile.

Be Present in Bursts, Not Constantly

Being present doesn’t mean you have to be engaged every second of every day. In fact, trying to be “on” all the time is a one-way ticket to burnout.

You can love your kids deeply and still need to mentally check out for a bit.

Studies show that taking brief mental breaks can actually make you a more attentive parent, allowing you to recharge and come back more focused and patient.

Try this instead: Prioritize ‘mini-presence.’ Be fully present for a few minutes during a daily routine — like when you’re putting your kid to bed or having a quick chat after school. Then give yourself permission to mentally zone out during the 47th round of “Baby Shark.”

Those little, focused bursts of attention matter more than trying to be fully engaged 24/7. Think of them like power naps for your attention span — short but surprisingly effective.

Even just a few minutes of undivided attention can leave a lasting impact on your child.

So, instead of wearing yourself out trying to “enjoy every (damn) moment”, aim for a few intentional, connected moments throughout the day.

Focus on Connection, Not Perfection

Kids grow up fast, but telling parents not to blink is like telling them not to breathe — it’s impossible and unnecessary. And it’s terrible parenting advice because it harms rather than helps.

You’re going to miss some moments. Or you’re going to space out during a bedtime story or zone out while your kid is describing, in excruciating detail, every single Minecraft block they just placed.

And that’s okay. Being present doesn’t mean being perfect.

Try this instead: Focus on connection over perfection. Put down your phone and pay attention — even if it’s to the 27th retelling of how the toy dinosaur saved the day. But also, give yourself a break.

It is okay to be angry — to be tired — to be preoccupied and busy. These things don’t mean that you’re squandering important time – or that you should feel any different than you do.

They don’t make you a bad parent. They make you real.

Humans blink. Humans space out. And honestly, your kid probably won’t even remember that time you nodded through their entire Minecraft monologue – or the times you turned on another episode of Paw Patrol so you could take 20 minutes to yourself.

Choose Meaningful Memories Over Picture-Perfect Moments

Social media has made it seem like every parenting moment needs to be Instagrammable — perfectly lit, beautifully curated, and hashtag-ready.

But let’s be real: most of the best moments are the ones that would never make the cut.

The late-night snuggles when your toddler’s hair is a tangled mess and your shirt is covered in spit-up. The belly laughs during a tickle fight that leave you both gasping for air. The quiet, sleepy-eyed chats as you sit together on the couch, surrounded by unfolded laundry and dirty dishes.

Try this instead: Give yourself a digital detox hour. Pick a time each day when you put your phone down, step away from social media, and just hang out with your kids.

No photos, no scrolling, no distractions. Just be there and see what unfolds naturally.

The Bottom Line

Parenting is hard enough without the added pressure to love every second of it.

You don’t have to savor every Lego-strewn, tantrum-filled, sleep-deprived moment to be a great parent.

You just have to show up, do your best, and give yourself permission to be human — the kind of human who sometimes needs a minute to herself in the bathroom with the door locked.

So, the next time someone tells you to “enjoy every moment,” feel free to smile and nod at their well meaning (if misguided) parenting advice… And then go scream into a pillow for five minutes. Or blast your favorite song while hiding in the pantry. Or text your best friend that you’re officially losing it.

Because that’s real self-care — not pretending every second is magical, but finding a few small, sanity-saving moments in the midst of the chaos to anchor you and build the memories that last.

Why ‘Enjoy Every Moment’ Is the Worst Parenting Advice

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